On a wheeled horse I ride. i.am.rollerman

Archive for November, 2010|Monthly archive page

You Can’t Kill Me, You Don’t Have the Paperwork

In Life, spinal cord injury, wheelchair on November 6, 2010 at 9:22 pm

Since no "paperwork" was filed that the dog on the left might have been dangerous, please ignore the picture of said dog knawing on a human leg while a man on crutches passes to the right.

Wait, did I just read that?

An Ulster Dutchess County NY man has been sentenced to six months in jail for killing a dog.   PLEASE: I am in no way condoning this guy’s behavior, but the Judge’s “key point” (his words, not mine) on his verdict in this trial was whether the dog was dangerous.

Quote  from the Kingston Daily Freeman:

“…The justice said that, while there was ample testimony that the dog was mean and aggressive, there was no finding by the court that the dog posed any danger.

Earlier in the article, the dog’s owner states:

“…Humphrey (the deceased) was kept chained in a garage on the property because Sturgess (the dog’s OWNER) had said the dog was aggressive.

Further from the Judge:

“The fact is there was no complaint, no paperwork filed on that dog,” Smith said. “A citizen cannot say, ‘That’s a dangerous dog.’  …”  

So,  since no one saw a rationale need to report this to the authorities, thus their justification is baseless?

“Hello, I’d like to report an angry dog.”   Authorities: “You’re calling…why, Sir are you high?”

“Hello, I’d like to report an angry dog.”   Authorities: “Sir, did you realize calling on a frivolous matter is a felony?”

“Hello, I’d like to report an angry dog.”   Authorities: “Tell him to lick himself, I do that when I’m angry…or I wish I could, at least”

Maybe I should have fallen on the pavement

After five years with the same wheelchair cushion (aka “fart magnet”) and seat back, it finally needs to be replaced.  I receive an email from my wheelchair supplier, “…the new cushion and seat back will be $365.00.”

Now, i’ve already met my annual $2K out of pocket deductible AND $2K out of pocket medical durable goods deductible (yes that’s $4K in ADDITION to my $6.5K premium, so I’m well past $11K, that just ME individually) so I’m thinking this most likely be covered at 100%

Silly man!  Up charge! I must pay a premium of $365 in order to get the item prescribed to me.

You see I apparently made a poor decision six years ago to get a higher end more durable wheelchair than the insurance company felt necessary.   I figured, I’m only going to be in the thing ALL DAY, that I’ll spend $4K of my OWN money to UPGHARGE to a better model. (Finally tally: insurance company $1.8K + me: $4.5K = Wheelchair: $5.3K)

So the same hypocrites that stress preventative care want to fiscally punish me again for having selected a chair that has most likely prevented a $20K surgery on my clickety-click clavicles?    Throw me a bone, as in two clavicle replacements.

Ignore the Man behind the curtain in the wheelchair

I’m not supposed to be in the blustery NY MSA this week.  I’m supposed to be in Southwest Florida.  Back in the business travel saddle again after a six year hiatus.

It was not in the cards.  My mind the victim of a vicious slap flight with my bodies’ auto immune system.  My Left Foot?  Hell, my entire left leg, bigger than Oprah’s during season three.   My left heel currently playing fresh air parent to a tennis ball sized blister.

I’m on the mend.  3X daily hits of Keflex and Carnation Instant Breakfast taken orally, not topically you big silly.

Fun Paraplegic Factoid

You can take an air gun and drive a nail through my leg, no pain here. Run a 747 over my foot, nope, can’t feel it.

It’s cold and blustery out, I can feel the cold, so shut the f’in door already!

Four Festering Future Posts

I’ve got four topics that I’m now working on now that warrant dedicated blog posts.   Tell me which one first:

Hair-icuda.  My home is overrun with them.

Sallie Mae. No, not a mentally challenged former girlfriend, rather Freddie Mac’s stalker sister.

The Land of Tat: The magical final destination of many household items

WTF with all the packaging? I’m congested.  Now I’m congested, have a gash on my thumb and think I have carpal tunnel syndrome.

Scratch a dog behind the ears, they love it.  Send me A COMMENT below.  C”mon it only takes a minute and you don’t have the paperwork to put me down.


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New Format, Same Old Crap

In Family, Life on November 4, 2010 at 12:46 am
NYS Gov-elect Andrew Cuomo’s new ladyfriend looks like Mandy Pepperidge from “Animal House.” Cuomo claims not to be an “Albany Insider,” so does that make him a…wait for itwait for it.

Thought I’d mix things up a bit this week.   Instead of a well crafted single topic posting, I thought I’d opt for  “poop-ettes”instead of a single subject stool. (I know, I had you at “stool“)

Note for the readers of this blog,  this is an interactive forum.  Laugh out loud, and LEAVE A COMMENT on the thing that made you launch.   Object to something, LEAVE A COMMENT.    This is a hard gig, it’s like playing to a room of one-armed people. Do they want to clap and just can’t?, or do I really suck.   LEAVE A COMMENT!

Mystery Solved: After 30+ years I finally realized that I was “mis-informed.”   Watching the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert rally on DC, they had Cat Stevens playing.   For so many years I thought the song was “Ride on the Pizza Train.” True, an unusual vehicle to deliver pizzas, I thought he might have been c0-sponsored by Pizza Hut and AmTrak.

In the “Shut Your Pie Hole” department

Brett Favre, please shut up.   New additions: Brad Childress, coach of the Minnesota Vikings,  Randy Moss, temporary team-mate of the pant filled one.

Any sports announcer extolling Brett or his streak: case in point  Troy Aikman.   I remember Aikman getting hit in the head too many times which forced his retirement, perhaps proof that too many concussions do cause brain damage.

Good Old Boys “..drink whiskey and rye and sing about this will be the day that I die…?, not f*ck around on their Wives

In the “I Didn’t Realize I had so many Friends” Department

I’m the kid with the full keg again and everyone wants to be my friend.   “This is George Pataki calling…”  “This is former NYC Mayor Rudy G calling…”  This is “still Dead President Reagan calling”   I’m suddenly the guy on everyone’s short list to call.  Funny, that phone wasn’t ringing today.

Please, ” Put Carl Paladino back in My Pants” department

NYS candidate for Gov, and dead twin for my (rhymes with “wrote’em”), with all its characteristics and hue.  If you look like a “wrote’em” you need an image makeover.   I felt the message, but I also felt the urge to scratch.  Harry Reid not too far down that list either.

Did He Just Say That?

Andrew Cuomo denies he’s an Albany-insider.  His Father was NYS governor for three consecutive terms.  Was Andrew kept in an idling car on the Quebec border for those 12 years?  Please…   One positive:  His girlfriend reminds of “Mandy Pepperidge” from Animal House.

I Know Why the call it the Blackberry Storm

Cause the thing makes me stormin mad!  I don’t use it as a phone, rather a glorified MP3 player and camera.   I can finally say what most men wish they could “yes, I’m hung…or at least my Blackberry Storm is.” It’s got one more week before I switch back to my circa 2002 Sansa “Hung like a flea” E200.

Attention Family Members

I know that all of you think you know more than me, but quicker than I can say “I was never NOT on the Dean’s List” listen up anyhow:   The answer is not always to “crank up that thermostat.”

Try the following first:

Closing the door keeps the cold out. Not placing a laundry basket on a heating vent lets the warm air in.

Try a sweatshirt first, you only have 15 on your bedroom floor.  Don’t insulate your floor, insulate your body.

If I’m cold, that is different.  I am a SCI living cadaver, we don’t have the ability to regulate our body heat like you do.

Given that, I pay the heating bill so I should choose when I want to piss my money away.  Don’t like it?  Buy another sweatshirt to insulate your floor with.

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